Bitchin' In My Kitchen: Christmas Edition

On December 24, 2020, near the end of the night, Michael and Ellen made plans to bake Christmas cookies on stream. Bitchin' In My Kitchen: Christmas Edition was one of the incentive goals that were reached during the winter Raising the Bar charity livestream. Two other incentive goals that were reached, Twas' Night Before Christmas Live Reading and Building a Gingerbread House Live, were also performed during this stream. This page will be a summary of the livestream event.

Bitchin' In My Kitchen (Part 1)
Michael and Ellen started by preparing the batch of cookies -- however, as early on as this was, it would turn out to be the start of all the chaos. They started by putting in the ingredients -- Butter, flour, baking soda, etc., only to realize that Ellen had provided the wrong measurements. They eventually decided to continue on and ended up making a huge mess on the counter and sink. Michael doesn't know what he is doing and is only making more of a mess by cracking eggs and letting the egg shells get into the bowl. Ellen tried to film Michael's growing babyrage while Michael is joking at the fact that they made a batch that can bake up to 60 cookies. While mixing the ingredients together, Michael puts a little too much vanilla into the bowl, however, it would later turn out to be rather beneficial. Michael lets out his "anger" by beating the bowl and entertaining the viewers. He licks the batter while commenting that he is only tasting vanilla--of course, because he added too much. While mixing the batter ingredients, both of them sang random songs to pass the time. The dough then gets stuck within the whisk, which of course makes Michael even saltier. Ellen tells Michael to put 2 teaspoons of baking soda, however Michael decides otherwise and pours too much into the mix, which he then jokingly blames on Ellen. Michael uses his hands to knead the dough, while complaining about how the dough is sticking to his hands because they hadn't put it in the fridge like instructed. Ellen then decides to take a shot at kneading the dough, which brings a somewhat better result. Michael snorts flour into his nose with a straw--yes, seriously--on the stove counter and starts playing with the dough. Of course, this supposedly "ruins" his stove...or so he claims. They then chill the dough for an estimated hour and a half while doing other things on stream to pass the time.

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Twas' The Night Before Christmas
While the dough chilled, Ellen starts to read Twas' the Night Before Christmas to the viewers. Throughout the first few minutes of the reading, Michael kept yelling and rambling that the cookies and his oven are ruined. On every page that Ellen read from the story, Michael interrupts her by inserting his quirky jokes like "Shut the fuck up" and other crude comments. The viewers were enjoying the story with Michael's additions (which you can watch here!) By the end of the story, Michael and Ellen are reading together to chat, and again, with Michael inserting his jokes to the story. Throughout the story, Leela is trying to get to food on the counter, but was thwarted by Ellen twice when she was put into a box which she enjoyed.

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Building a Gingerbread House Live
In the next hour, Michael and Ellen started to build the Minions-branded gingerbread house. It is currently considered one of the "most expensive gingerbread houses" because of the voting outcome on the Raising The Bar charity livestream; Ellen and a handful of viewers donated more to save the gingerbread house rather than smashing it into pieces. Michael spoke more about Raising The Bar, thanking every person that donated and showing his appreciation to the viewers for their support. Leela ends up getting a little peckish and sneaks a peak at the gingerbread house, while Ellen makes hot chocolate for themselves. Michael takes his time building the house while getting stumped on it's design. He finished the foundation, walls, and roof of the house right when 12AM came--Christmas Day had finally arrived. They started to decorate the house with frosting, a one-eyed minion cookie that represented fellow Twitch streamer Krinios, and pieces of Skittles.

While decorating, Michael and Ellen narrates their favorite Christmas stories. Michael tells an event where his family gathering was cancelled and his family instead went to the movies to watch The Grinch. However, that day was ruined even further when the movie theaters were showing the wrong movie--a horror movie. After another 30 minutes, the error was eventually corrected and they also received the opportunity to watch a free movie that was premiering at the time--Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse.

They also talked about past incidents with Michael's new iPhone. Michael had recently switched from Android to Apple, where he got the iPhone 12 Pro Max. The first incident occurred when he had the option to transfer his information from Android to Apple. During the transfer, it only transferred about 30 contacts out of 600 and the rest of the phone's files were lost--which was why he ended up keeping his old phone. Michael tried to locate the lost files through cloud storage, and not a single piece of information was ever stored there either. His last hope was moving the files through a USB cable, but in the lowest of chances (1 out of 7.5 trillion chance--not a solid fact) his old phone was somehow bricked and the iPhone battery's storage was almost damaged--his old phone went from 4% to 58% charge in a split second while his iPhone lost 1% battery. This segment ended with Michael rambling about the conveniences, inconveniences, and the functionality, limits, and faults of both brands.

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Bitchin' In My Kitchen (Part 2)
After they finished decorating the gingerbread house, they continued to make the Christmas cookies. Ellen took out the dough while Michael poured flour all over the pan and onto the rolling pin. Michael, being the man-child he is, goofed around with the roller, pretending to jerk off with it (View it here!) They took the pan of dough to the counter where they rolled the dough and used cookie cutters to carve Christmas Tree-shaped cookies. They sang more random songs and had conversations about South Park, Harry Potter, and Fiddler on the Roof while cutting the 16 cookies. They placed the two pans of cookies into the oven and let them bake for 6-8 minutes at a time.

While the cookies were baking, Michael tried to clean his stove counter and Ellen put away the ingredients. Ellen took a picture of Leela sleeping peacefully during the chaos. Afterwards, Ellen talked about her favorite Christmas moment: getting an Indiana Jones Lego toy set, which Ellen and her brother later tried to build. Her father helped them build the set perfectly, to which Ellen and her brother later destroyed and created backstories based on the Legos. Michael and Ellen continued to talk more about various childhood memories, such as Michael receiving a Playstation 4 on a previous Christmas. Next, they showed off a white teddy bear, which they received during the Raising The Bar livestream. There was no name for the bear so Ellen tried to get suggestions from the viewers. Michael quickly blurted out "Dipshit"--which chat agreed should be his name. Other suggestions were "Bubba", "Bum-bum", "Bitty Bear", and "Adam Sandler". At the end, it was named "Adam 'Dipshit' Sandler". Michael then started abusing the bear by banging its head into the keyboard, trying to rip its head off, and squishing its head/face. By the end of the stream, the cookies came out evidently decent, based on Michael and Ellen's reactions to the taste. They poked and patted the cookies to make sure they were properly baked. Ellen tweeted the final result of the cookies with all kinds of designs and logos.